1:22 Thursday Afternoon   Letting Go of the Really Big little Things I'm not sure how much longer I can take having water in my eyes and a lump in my throat. Can't I just acknowledge that, yes, I am sad, and get on with it? I wish I could shake myself and scream, "IT ISN'T THAT BAD," and then I want to hug myself and say, "It's okay to hurt," and have a good cry. Tuesday Caleb came over. It was really exciting because I hadn't seen him in two days, which is pathetic because it had only been two days. Poor caleb. I had mood swings. I was like "whee!" and then "waah!" back and forth... but we spent something like 11 hours together and that was nice by default. Yesterday I went to the beach with my family and built a sand mermaid. I hadn't done that in a while. I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't seen the sea weed clumped up on the shore--it looked so much like a head of dreadlocks that i just had to make a mermaid. xD we had a lunch at a seaside cafe, then we went downtown and through the botanical gardens and caught a bus to bush inne centre and drove back home. I got an overnight bag together and went to Laura's and that was a blast. It was such a girly sleepover, it was so fun. We watched Honey, had ice cream and fudge, danced around, did nails, then watched Crazy/Beautiful, and then we did our hair crazy, and then we did our hair pretty. Then we stayed up till all hours of the night talking (6:45 a.m. was when we drifted off to sleep). In the morning we had cereal and i got dressed and then daddy came and got me. I've spent all my time at home packing, which sucks. It hurts so bad. Plus also it's a beautiful day outside...good for going to a beach again. :P with certain somebodies. but no. he's working and I'm packing. and i would just get sad. It's funny how it makes me sad that he makes me so happy. By funny i mean ironic, not funny as in "hehehe what a great joke" although i suppose in the cosmic whatever, it is a pretty good joke. so i suppose maybe it is just funny. haha.