Monday; 7:33 p.m.   It has come to My Attention I sometimes wonder if other people are like me. So often I assume I'm the only person who thinks these things, and then I stop myself. Surely I'm not the only one. Such as when I think of all these people I haven't seen in ages, and I think that there's no way they could remember me... But I remember them... So is there a possibility that they remember me? I have to admit a lot of this was brought on by seeing Matt yesterday. Extending my hand with a smile and saying, "Hello, I used to be your neighbor." And his shocked sort of face as he shook my hand and said, "Teresa." So maybe the people who I sometimes think about think about me sometimes too. Anyway. Craig has a journal now. He sacrificed a lot for me. I realize now. And he's okay with that now. And Its funny to think that we both liked each other but no one ever did anything about it. I remember coming home from Pirates that day that Craig told me I was beautiful when I smiled. I told Kajsa Asap and she said, "oooh, maybe he'll be your first kiss!" No. But I would kiss him. On the cheek. Just for starting to fix me and then introducing me to my Scott. Who completely healed me. After Craig helped me I got ripped apart again. My feelings and self esteem were shattered after Levi told me why we broke up. And Scott picked me up and made me all better. It took time, but I can't say I'm all that bitter anymore. And I owe that indirectly to Craig. The two people who loved me for who I was not for my distracting capabilities. And for a long time I was afraid to get close. To anybody. After Levi got close to me and made me feel so special and he was the first boy I ever held his hand and i kissed him on the cheek once. Then a few days later he pissed over all my feelings like boys do when they're burning things they hate. And then the day I slapped him he went around all proud because he got a girl to slap him...and I wanted to castrate him. And Natalie said it was mostly my fault, and that's when I cried. I wanted to go home. But that stupid kid picked a day when going home would be next to impossible. Freaking asshole. I know some of my friends still like his company and all that but he treated me like dog poop and I am not used to being treated like excrement. He IS excrement in my eyes. Ugh. I see him in the halls and I automatically tense up. I like talking about Scott because he's so sweet and so cute and the best thing that happened to me....in front of Levi's girl friend. because I'm evil like that. I think I'm a bad person. Today in the ala carte line I saw Justin. The-Boy-Who-I-Don't-Know. Except I kind of know him now. he was right behind me. Aaron and I talked and he and I talked and I was telling them about going to Matt's house and I should have gone and been like "We're going to get married; 16 is of legal age here and you made me a promise 13 years ago. I've come back for you." Bwahahaha... But is it bad that I was trying to read his face to see if he would get jealous at all? I'm so mean. Yeah.