Wednesday, 7:59 a.m.   Lust-Induced Euphoria like lust love all are four letter words. Boys are attracted to my awesomeness the way flies are attracted to rotting meat. *rot rot* it's an emenation. i feel lost and i need to go to school. maths first period (again). not that it matters, maybe ill just stare at marco all hour because marco blocks my view of caleb. right. but im really not that lame. I really do my assignments in class (saves having to do them outside of class). tech today! hurray! no art though. No english! yay! there is accounting however. :P bleeeh. and chemistry. But also there is.... um. There is. There just. is. ----------------- 9:57 p.m. ooooooh god was tonight a good night. Even though I have a cold sore, I spilled a beaker of hot water all over my skirt in chemistry, I clamped my hand to a vice in technology, and I left my school shirt in the band room at jam session afta school, today was the best day all week. We led each other to caleb's house, First caleb closed his eyes and I led him down through the park and down yaldhurst and riccarton, then He led me the rest of the way back to his house. It was so fun. We jumped on the tramp and had tickle fights and found away around the cold sore. He made muffins, too. They were actually pretty good. I called him "darling" in a condescending way and felt really sad after I had said it. So I will pretend it was meant as a term of loving endearment or something so that I am not sad. I want him to be happy. And he asked me who I was going to marry when I grew up. So I started a tongue-in-cheek list of an ideal husband (including but not limited to: rich, charming, handsome, cooking abilities, chivalrous, etc.). My real list i think, of an ideal husband would include the following: Someone who give me the desire for him to be happy, and the incentive to make him happy myself; Be around my same level of intelligence Someone who loves me unconditionally, a love which I must return; Someone who is not afraid to be themselves around me, and who I am not afraid to be myself around; Someone who will not try to change me, and who I will have no desire to change, someone whose quirks and strangeities I will accept, and gladly so if it means I can be with him forever; Someone who I shall always want to talk to, even about the most inane things, and will make everything seem intellectually stimulating; Someone I would rather die than be without; Someone I would be willing and able to wait for without hesitation, should he leave for a prolonged period of time; Someone I would stick up for in times of conflict, and would stick up for me, too. I never want to get a divorce. It's funny, that when you say goodnight, little pieces of me are sad because it means I can no longer talk to you. I have never felt that way before. Goodnight, Moon.