10:30 Mid Tuesday Morning   Every Time I Close My Jaws Crunchy foods can only be eaten in solitude. i feel bad every time I crush a peanut or roasted corn kernel between my top and bottom molars...because that guy over there is studying hard for something and all i'm doing is disrupting his natural habitat. Daydreams of summer days so far and few between...warmth and burning sun beating down on my back; the only day I actually went swimming at the beach and we bought a jug of tropical fruit smoothie from the grocery supermarket. we laid our towel out on the sand in the shade beneath the pier and lathered sunscreen all over each other. Hey, You got it in my hair! i built a sand mermaid. The same dead mermaid I always build. the sand is too compact and difficult to dig to make an elaborate castle. or did I? maybe all those far and few between summer days run together in my memory. maybe i conglomerate the best memories from each day and make a supermemory of the perfect day that never happened and never will. i know one day in particular it was grey and rainy. i told him i wanted to run away for a few hours. it was no longer summer, there was no more warmth left in the air. Just rain. we bought food to sustain us on our adventure -- honey roasted jellyfish on sticks because that in and of itself was an adventure. We took the nearest bus into town and took th first bus we saw. the number 3 to Sumner. When we arrived, we found sticks on the beach. I dont remember if we took our shoes off or not. Its possible. The tides had formed a ridge in the sand and we drew pictures on the wall of the sand ridge with our sticks. We climbed up the rocks and watched the sky grow dark and the lights of rich houses sparkle on the ocean shore. We ate some of the jellyfish. It tasted exactly how catfood smells. I will never forget that. In fact, as we sat atop the rocks, a stray cat came meowling by. We offered her some of our jellyfish and she gladly took it, licking her chops in gratitude. I remember thinking what an interesting boy this was, this boy who I'm dating. Why does he find me interesting? I don't know, I don't care. All I know is that he's content just to sit here. just to sit here and talk. kissing is for later, not for these adventures. i remember that trip to sumner better than any other. now it is snowy, and dry. and I am in a different land. different dialects, different ideas, different ethics. I long for home. Good news, though -- I'll be arriving at the Chch airport domestic section at 8 am June 2nd. please mark it in ya calendar and come say hello! give us a kiss; give us a hug.