1:54 Early Tuesday Afternoon   Overwhelming Affection Let's just say that I am growing very tired very quickly. I'll survive, I always do. I know I've said this a lot but...house. want. At least I've been working relatively regularly lately. It's my goal. I have an actual goal. Wow. i mean beyond getting Caleb to send Lisa a gosh durned email. PLEASE? It's getting almost scary. I won't lie. You always dream about it and then when it approaches you freak out. Or, I do anyway. Like how I always hyperventilate when I see the fields of Christchurch from the airplane window. kissing someone you haven't seen in 5 months is harder than you'd think. This time it will only be 3 months, but still. But the scariness is not me going to new zealand; rather, the scare factor lies in the fact that I may actually BUY that house that I want so badly, that I may actually have to grow up and pay mortgage and insurance and utility bills. It's scary to think that I actually will get married and rather soon at that. What's scarier than that is that Caleb is not going to leave me again. Scary...but exhilarating. and exciting. Scary in the best possible way. Provided I am always allowed to catch snowflakes on my tongue and build snowmen and dance in my living room to The Mars Volta and wear costumes when I feel like it. basically Growing up isn't so scary as long as you get to stay a kid. as far as I'm concerned, anyway.