All Sad Inside I feel all lonely inside. A rather depressing day. Nobody to play with. Natalies in Cove, Megan and I never really hang out anyway, even Nate and Ryker went on a snowmobiling trip for like two days. And since I can't get the group of 5, I went outside the group desparate enuff for Derek but he was at work! And Kirri's prolly sick of me by now b/c she's the only one I got left! I woke up at like 10 to find a strange looking man sleeping on the couch. I didn't have my eyes in so I juss stared at his guy. I discovered he had a nice fro going on with redish/orange hair that looked like he hadn't showered in a year and he smelt really bad too. Great, juss great, why do I always discover the strangers crashed on the couch? It felt like I woke up in a crack house or something. Ick. I called Kirri b/c they (Kirri and Nessa) were gonna watch The Notebook and I wanted to see it. Stan said Kirri was too tired to answer the fone. So I juss got up and went over there. I ate their waffles, I was soo in the mood for those this morning. Then I started the movie. The power went out in the middle of my movie. ARrgghh. Nessa had the microwave going, the laundry, and the oven going and it all died. So I juss whined/cried and took a nap on the couch bed that was out and wrapped up in a blanket. I was cold. About an hour later I woke up with a "Wake up! The powers back on!" and they fixed the TV so I could watch it. Yay! Happy days! So I watched the sad movie and tried to cry but my tears just dont seem to wanna come out. I made Kirri call Derek. He was at work. *whine* Then I fell asleep again on the bed! Laziness occurs when you are depressed. It was 3 and I figgered I should go home, but then I fell asleep and woke up at like 4:30. So I finally decided to go home. I was in the process of mixing muffins and Vati comes in and says, "Oh good I was wondering what you were going to cook us for dinner" Scott ran around saying how hungry he was so Vati told him he could eat muffins when they were done. *rolls her eyes* Then Vati gave me this lil' lecture on how Mutti ish going to be mad at me b/c I didn't do the dishes before I left. I was going home to do the dishes, but it can't be done when someone has already done it! So it's my fault that she -decided- to do the dishes. So Scott ate my muffins, I had like one and peaches, chips and salsa and a PB&J sandwich, not much of a meal huh? I moaned and groaned all day. I'm so ornery and negative. 'Shut up' and 'go away; were the phrases of the day. You're all gonna die!!! And that strange guy ish still around. I came downstairs and found Dustin surrounded by three kids. Scott, another boy older than Scott and a lil' girl decked out in purple. *blink blink* He told me to go away and hide. (He agreed to babysit the kids) So I did. I moved my beads from my door and the cat walked in....The lil' girl liked the cat and followed it in my room. Soon enuff the cat comes running out and she's standing there at the beaded door waiting for me to move them so she could come out. *sighs* Then I turned on my music while the stranger was in the front room cleaning a gun. I did some of my homework so I wouldn't be soo stressed out come morrow. Then I got so bored I decided to clean my room, well fill up a couple garbage bags. Now I'm in the process of putting up my Unfortunate poster, chatting with Kirri and watching TV. What a relaxing/lazy/depressing Monday. Great, this is already become a novel and I juss finished with my day. "There is something I see In the way you look at me There's a smile There's a trance In your eyes What an unexpected way On this unexpected day Could it be? This is where I belong? It is you I have loved All along" Reminds me of Nate. Not matter how many crushes I have and how they turn out it always turns back to him. His eyes tell the story. When he looks at me tho, sometimes he doesn't really..see me. He sees another girl in his eyes. Kinda sad. stupid boy... My stalker wrote on a scrap piece of paper some useless quotes. One was: "We judge ourselves by how we feel we are capitable (I think he means capable) of doing. Others judge us by what we have done." This one was kinda creepy and he might as well sang that "If I were a fly on your wall" song from Clay Aiken. After like 5 minutes he had to ask me how to spell cheek. "See! O how she leans her hand upon her cheek! O if I were a glove upon her hand, just so I might touch that cheek." He still calls me. Stupid cow. Go away. Speaking of boys...good or bad. I called Ryker at like 8 o'clock Sunday night. He said he'd invite me over but he thought it was too late. I didn't want to go over anyway b/c I didn't have a car, I juss wanted to know where Natalie was. But he said his Mutti said I could come. I wanted out of the house and so he told me to come over. So I ran over there. Literally...ran...in the dark. Kinda had to 'lie' to me Vati, but he didn't really care. He was being witchy Sunday b/c of stress and I was the only one home to take it out on. So I ran over to Rykers at like 8:30 he said I could only be there until like 9:30. I showed up like dead on his porch. He picked me up and put me on his lap. I stayed there like the rest of the night. We had tickle wars. You hafta have those. I decided to pinch his ear really hard like I was piercing it whenever he did something I didn't like. That and pulling his leg hairs juss for the fun of it. haha. It was fun torturing the boy. But of course he tortured back. I kept trying to get up b/c I was squishing him, but he'd pull me back down. We had some funny conversations. He was watching a weird show. He said I gave him challenges and he had to prove he could it. No matter what I said. The first challenge was "You won't be my friend anymore!" So he was my friend. My next one was "You wouldn't dare kiss me." So he decided to prove that he would last night. I can't remember what I was doing but he decided to 'fix' it and he like held my head so I wouldn't back away like he claims I always do and he kissed me. It wasn't open mouthed for once in my life! woohoo! yay! He asked if that fixed 'it'. Whatever 'it' was. I was confused. He said he'd make the next kiss longer so I wouldn't forget. haha! I guess I kept doing whatever was 'broken' so he kissed me a few minutes later and it was longer. It was soo cool! heh! I liked it. But yeah, with all the tickling and torturing and after the kisses I ended up staying until 10 when they kicked me out. I walked back home. I was happy. The sweet-kisser finally kissed me and it wasn't open mouthed or icky! I think after losing my VL's I've been going around kissing ppl and I lost 3 fingers (Every time you kiss someone diff you hafta take a finger away) in like less than a month! Dave was the third....Nate was the 14th...and Ryker was the 20th of Feb. And in playing Kissing Tag in our group, Megans it! mwhahhahaa.... Now all I needa do is get Derek some how....lol jk! I'm so evil. That poor kid. Yesterday ended with a kiss from the sweet/cute kisser and today ended in a stranger in my house, depression, laziness, and lack of hanging out with Derek. pff. Nobody'll be at school! Well...boy wise cept Icky David and Dallas...but then they'll be Derek! This is sad. I don't want to fall in love and I'm over here non stop talking about Derek. He prolly doesn't even like me. *sighs* Shut up brain!