Listening to: Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart
Feeling: crushed
Woke up to the snow storm. So cold. And I thought spring was here... pff.
Went to class like a zombie. Wrote in my other journal about Cole being born. I wrote like 10+ pages... Kinda fergot about class. I was in the zone. In the middle of my last class I decided I needed to go home and take a nap or I'd fall asleep at work again.
So I left class early and caught the bus.
Went home and ate Ramen noodle. Mmm warm. Grandma was home sick. Poor Grandma, I don't know how to help her. Took a nap. I figgered it'd either give me more energy or wipe me out. It gave me a lil' more energy I think.
I was excited to see my baby.
Went home and got the car, went to the library and then went to Mindys house. Ate their food.
Got on the compy. I had a lil' dilemma. I had mixed up Jordans number with Lara's name. So I thought I was talkin to Lara and I didn't have Jordans number. So I flipped out. Jordan was on the net and I got it all straightened out. Poor kid. He thought I was schizo. I was getting there too. It was driving me nuts. I don't know how I did it. Gave me too much stress. I almost lost Jordan!
Then I attempted to hold my baby after he wouldn't stop eating. But he wasn't feeling good, he kept crying. I know babies cry a lot, but even for a new born, they don't cry this much. Cuz they usually balance out the sleeping and eating. Cole isn't sleeping that well. I think maybe something is wrong with his digestive system. So when I held him he just wailed. I gave him back to Claine. Claine seemed to be able to vibrate him enough to calm down. I think he even fell asleep for a bit. Me, Mindy, Brax and Mom went to the store to get a cake and ice cream for Cole's Birthday Party.
I got my feelings hurted so I went home after that and cried myself to sleep.
"Turn around bright eyes"
"And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever"
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