I knew he was gone When I saw that the boards blocking the doorways were gone We could walk in and out of a room without stepping over a board Mum took him in yesterday I can't even...imagine... What it was like To say bye...one last time...minutes before... I can't imagine what Yoda was thinking He's always scared to go to the vet I really hope that was the right thing to do I remember bringing him home Me and Kirri on our bikes Carrying the lil' runt home We had to tag team, cuz he felt heavy And it was kinda awkward mode of transportation The man told us not to come back Mum sat on the yellow icky looking couch with her knitting stuff listening to conference I believe Kirri and I stood behind the couch And dropped a puppy in her lap We did the whole "Look what I found. Can I keep him?" Mum said...yes... Mum went over to the guys house Nobody wanted to say bye or anything And he became ours We made the lil' closet in the hallway a dog kennel with holes in it. He cried a lot and stuck his nose in the holes I was still sleeping upstairs and in the morning I'd let him out and we'd sit on the hallway floor and play. He'd sniff me all over, I remember wearing shorts as PJs and he'd get a lil' personal every once in awhile. I remember trying to name him too. We all thought he was a boy... So we had to decide on BJ or ...Yoda. I guess we were in a Star Wars phase Turns out Yoda was a girl...oh well. Yoda was moms. 12 years. Barked constantly. Hated children. Always ran away. Princess/no-named-cat was mine. If I had a claim on a animal anyway. In my perspective she was mine. We all shared her tho mostly. We all claimed her. Constant battle. 15 years. Jumped on the door when she wanted in Slept with us, on our head Attacked our head in the early mornings Michelle was Dustins cat. Less than 8 years. Attacked our feet if we moved them in bed Brought dead mice to our porch regularly Had 4 kittens, neighborhoods whore Dallin had the parakeets. Comrade and Susie. Pooped on the downstairs windowsill Almost became Squeakys lunch Ran from Princess' paws in the cage I dunno how long they lasted. Comrade went first tho. Mindy, she prolly knew Princess/Queen most. Dad had Brandy/Brownie when we moved in. I remember that day too. Ya know that scene in the movie when the kids are chasing that old brown station wagon as it goes down the dusty road, and the mother on the porch crying cuz she knows her children know whats going on That was us Brownie in the back/truck of the station wagon. Dad driving away. Mom on the porch. I remember at least me and Dallin were running down the sidewalk from playing at the neighbors. For years I could swear I saw dogs' spirits in the backyard rise to heaven. Even McKay Farris' wiener dog who got kicked by a horse. Those eyes. Those eager eyes. I can't get them out of my head. I remember the last time he did that lil' dance on the kitchen floor where if you said his name all excited he'd do his lil' growl and go in circles as if he was chasing his tail. Don't get me wrong. In general, I disliked that dog muchly. But..more than a decade with him And lately watching movies About people who just discard things/people/animals as if they have no purpose or meaning in life. Not to mention the fact I'm on my period and extremely emotional about it all. I was attached. The last time I laughed at that dog When Cole walked up behind him real quiet And gave him a good whack on the bum You shoulda seen him jump He jumped and turned around, growled and nipped at that boy 12 yrs and he still has some spunk I keep hearing that groan That you hear from the corner Of the living room Where he's laying, sleeping On a pile of blankets or jackets A phantom groan now I keep seeing images of him in my head I know I have a picture, somewhere With him looking straight up at the camera, at me It was right next to the one of Michelle I go to see if I can find those pictures And I can't find him anywhere I can't find him anywhere He's gone He's gone