Happy Birfday My Little Sara Marie!

2 years old! I can't believe it! Lets get those words going!

You had that party in that one park, at that one place, in that one city, with those three boys. Yup. I was totally there. We had pizza and juice and you drank like the whole bottle almost. You got a Mrs. Potatoe Head, a super cool flashlight, a book, and something else..... I played with Mrs. Potatoe Head. You liked the bags they came in the most.

Then the next day was a Sunday dinner for you and your dad. You had a potatoe on your highchair when I came to dinner. Potatoes, rolls, and salad for dinner. Then afterward you opened more presents. You got a Seek and Find, some finger puppets, and a bouncy ball from your Grandmother. You got a bear you could write on with markers from Uncle Brian and cousins. And you got a Tinkerbell tent from me. You grabbed your flashlight and you and Johnny went in the tent and played. It got a lil' crazy in there I'll tell you. Your dad got a book from your Grandma about the promises of the BofM. He wasn't so thrilled I think. Then he got a new game. He loves games. I didn't get him anything really. I gave him money for some pants a few weeks ago, but I ain't dragging him to the store to actually get them. Not my job.

Two years from this day I was living with Gma, going to school at the BC, working with Ralph, and riding up to Logan with Kellie since I didn't have a car. This is about the time we showed up at the hospital too. 9am. It was only a few more hours and your mama had you out while we all were still standing there. If she ever tells you that you were a difficult kid don't you believe it. Then like 6 months later I was at the hospital for Kellies baby. Now -that- was a difficult baby.

To my two year old who clenches her hands together and bends her knees as she smiles and giggles as if she's shy.

To my cuddle bug who MUST touch your face when tired or scared.

To the one who learns from her Gma how to yell, say no, and argue for no reason.

To the most cooperative baby I've seen so far....

To the little girl who carries her new kitten around by its neck.

To the one who likes to dump all bags of chips on the couch and empty drawers at random.

To the girl who feels the need to be like mom and dad and talk on the phone.

To the girl who will prolly grow up to beat up your cousin Johnny one day, if you haven't already.

More great news I have received today. Not only is it your birthday, but your mother just found out that she's pregnant again, just today learned of this. Thats crazy. Natalie is pregnant! Yer mom is the same age as me (22) and she's already started on her second child. Baby girl, you're gonna have a younger brother or sister! I know you have the personality to help take care of them, besides the whole carrying the cat by the neck thing. The great part of it is that you actually have a 50/50 chance of having a brother or sister. In my family so far all we get are boys and the future predicts so also. Your dad might actually have the talent to help make another girl! YAY! More babies! Yeah, I'm not so sure how to feel about that either. Yer mama and dad are crazy folk, but they've survived this long, they tough.

Well I hope you had a better day than me. I hear when kids find out there's another kid on the way they start bawling and are uber sad that the attention will divert from them. That would be horrible news on yer own birthday. Yer two and don't understand that yet, but ...you will.

Meanwhile, I have gotten my third annual PAP. My experience at the OB/Gyn office. I waited in that little room for like two hours, just reading. The doc took FOREVER for a less than 5 minute violation...I mean, procedure. Now, I've been violated before, I mean, this testing process done before, but this time was the first time I've had a male doc do such. For some reason, this seems like a total different violation. Maybe its cuz I haven't been laid in such a long time or something, but this juss seemed....different. I guess you never get used to these violations, procedures.

Well I've decided to tell you all about the process. Besides waiting two hours for the stupid doc on the third floor of the building. The doc asks about family history and birth control. "You want to continue with BC? You don't want to start the family?" No...nope, don't want the family... He'll prolly give you the Gardisil vaccination lecture too. Then the doc says something silly like "if you would slip off your tops and bottoms and put this gown on and this sheet on your lap I'll be back in a minute". You hesistate after he leaves and undress in a tiny poor lite room since they've permanently shut the blinds in said room for...obvious reasons. You slip on the gown and attempt to hold the gown together in the back and hold the sheet in your lap while climbing up to sit on the bed thinger. Then your phone rings or you realize you forgot something or you want to cover your undies from plain view and realize you have to get down from the bed and adjust things and then climb back up, all hopefully when the doc doesn't walk in.

Now, you'd think since he left you to undress he'd knock on the door first to make sure you are ready before barging in. Haha, no. He waltzes in and you do a quick over on adjusting your robe/gown thingy. He asks you to lay down and put your hands behind your head. He spreads the sheet over your bottom half more and pulls up your gown from the bottom to get his hands under and goes for your breasts. As you attempt to get over the initial shock the doc immediately starts asking questions that takes you moment to comprehend because they seem like bizarre questions as he's fondling you. "How long have you been a legal assistant?" The stupid questions that make you have to think, which actually helps get over the shock of his fondling. "Four years" "You started when you were 18?" "yeah...I just knew what I wanted."

Then even more awkward. I don't know why I'm telling you this. Its like when someone gets raped or violated they need to tell someone as part of therapy or something. haha. Nothing horrible happened, really, just a normal procedure....

Anyways, then he asks you to scoot down to the edge of the bed thingy, so your butt is just at the edge there and then he puts your legs in stirrups and for some reason you still have your knees clenched together as if he can't see everything already. He gloves up and lubes up and spreads your shaky legs and inserts this straw like tub thingy. You give a jolt or pain clench when he first goes in and realize you have to relax to get rid of some of the pain. Then he gets an instrument from the nurse and sticks that up the straw like thing and scraps off some of the inside of your vagina, pulls it out, gives it to nurse, and she takes it to the lab to test it for some pre-cancerous disease. He then stands up and saying something about this part being kind of weird and sticks is finger up your vagina, which admittedly feels a lot better than that straw/instrument thing he just did, but his finger goes in places, that well, fingers/dicks don't normally go and leaves you with a contorted confused face.

He announces that the "uterus is "good"" and the "ovaries are "good"" as he pushes certain parts of your lower stomach while his finger is still inserted (one area of which just happens to be close to your bladder which you suddenly realize you have to pee so bad) "Good", whatever that means. Are you checking to see if they are there or something? Seeing if they are out of place? What? He then ungloves and asks if you have anymore questions. Huh? Meanwhile your knees have seemed to come back together and yer on yer elbows trying to close your legs even more. He tells you to get dressed and your Rx is at the front desk and leaves. How do people know not to come in during those times you are undressing?

So, you waited so long. They came in and whooshed back out. And in the meantime you are still naked with your butt hanging off the edge of a bed on your elbows wondering what the hell just happened. You feel it getting a lil' breezy and realize you have that lube stuff all over your pussy still and you feel like you peed your pants for a minute. Speaking of pee, still have to go, but definitely not pulling your pants down again in this place. You awkwardly get down and look for paper towels or kleenex to wipe yourself off while your gown is falling off. Normally you'd question if you were instructed to get dressed and leave or something, but at this moment you don't really care and would gladly leave without talking to anyone else even if you had more inquries. You want out so fast you dont even care how they get you the results.

You gladly get dressed as fast as you can and grab your stuff and go for the door and you realize your pussy is still a lil' damp and the hole that was violated didn't seem to recover and/or close from the things that went up there. You feel like something is going to fall out of the still opened hole if you spread your legs, but you feel a tight cramp/clenching in your lower stomach, as if your holding that 'something' that might fall out of said hole if you walk normally. So you end up walking out awkwardly, snatch the Rx off the front desk and zip out the door vowing not to pee until you get back to work.

And that, my dear, is an experience you get from an OB/Gyn, well at least my experience. Good luck with yours!

So many wonderful things to celebrate this day and I feel like I've just been violated.