Happy Birfday Ralph! ... awkward.... So I was talking to Kirri today about navy blue dresses we would wear for Natalies wedding. I told her the one I would wear (one I wore to junior prom in high school) and all she said was "orange julius" and I busted up laughing. I laughed cuz of Kiwi's attempt at orange julius. I laughed because of Dereks protests while Kiwi and I were fine drinking sugar. I laughed because I had spilled some on my blue dress and its still prolly on my dress like 3 years later. I laughed cuz I miss those two. I laughed at all the inside jokes Kiwi and I have. I laughed b/c of the good times we had. I laughed so hard I almost cried. I love Kiwi. She makes me laugh. I miss her SO much. __________________________________________________________ I keep having this dream, this idea, this thought that someone calls my name and I immediately respond "I'm right here baby". Everytime. All the time. Why? Almost as real as that daydream er whadeva I had a long time ago of someone wrapping their hand around the back of my neck to pull me in closer to them or something. Or the faint feeling of a hand going through my hair. Who am I talking to? Who is there? __________________________________________________________ She travels down the sidewalk early in the morning. Clinging to her bag, putting on sun glasses to hide her eyes Just act cool. Keep walking. She hears the quiet murmuring around her. Everything is staring. She puts her head down and walks faster. She knows the thoughts, the things being said. Her breathing gets harder. She blinks her eyes tightly and tries to block out the voices. The judging, the anger, the hate, the hypocrisy, the intimidation, the coldness. She takes a quick look for cars and heads across the street to the other sidewalk. Suddenly a loud accusation growls from behind her, stopping her in her tracks in the road. She takes a deep breath and yells, "What are you talking about?! I didn't DO anything!" She covers her ears at all the immediate protests and continutes down the street. "Almost there" she says to herself. Somewhere she can protect herself from The whistling, the howling, the growling, the screeching, the gentle pushes along the way. Oh how I hate the wind.