Have I mentioned before how much I hate Mondays?

Grandma said I looked sad or something this morning. Gee, thanks. I just knew something was gonna wrong on this nice hot monday morning, besides not being able to sleep much.

I ripped a huge hole in the butt of my pants upon arriving at work this morning. Almost all the way down the leg. Maybe one butt cheek is fatter than the other and it needed more room and just busted out that one side. I'm free!

Maybe I had the hole before...when I went to the store... and I just made it bigger when I got to work. Ya, I'm sure someone else saw it and didn't say anything. I can see Grandma giggling quietly while peeking at my ripped pants bottom as I walked out her door this morning.

Now I'm wearing these greasy old coolant stained jeans from the trunk of my car. Surprised they fit, extra stretchy tho. They've got some holes of their own. I'm on a roll, maybe my big butt will finish up these pants too. Two in one day...that'd be just...great. Just great.

Now this damn old machine won't rewind my tapes so I can type!

How did people survive before search engines?

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So I did a pritti good job jinxing myself. Two pairs of pants ripped in the butt in one day. There goes my backup pair of pants.

I'm tellin ya, if that doesn't just scream FATSO, I don't know what does. And now I have to go shopping for fatso pants again. Ugh.