So Natalies family has been living with me off and on for about a week and a half. They said only the week and a half while she's in training at her new job, but now they claim they don't have money to go back to the Valley and live with Shelly. They haven't asked yet, but I'm assuming they will come and go for the next two weeks going back and forth between me and Aubreys house. Its hard for them. The last experience they had living with her cousin didnt work out so well. They actually had rules in their house. That must be hard for Natalie. But she claims my house works because I don't have any kids so there's no butting of heads regarding discipline of children. I might disagree with that opinion tho. Esp when it comes to coloring my tile floor with markers. And she says Aubreys household runs a lot more like her own so it works better for her. Arthur claims my house is too "immaculate" and feels more comfortable at Aubreys. He refused to go back to Shelleys over the weekend. I think two weeks with one family is too much.

As for me, well it hasn't been that bad. I started some religion courses and self-help courses and pritti much have my day planned with things so I wasn't around my house a lot. I go to work, come home and eat, and then go off to class, come home and sleep, and repeat. The only issue I'd had is the weird things they accuse me of and plugging up my bathtub and blaming me all sarcastically. That somewhat irked me. My tub wasn't that bad before they came in... It still drained! But I suppose between two girls' hair and the previous owners business I'm sure the tub will eventually need to be snaked at some point and a lot more drain-o. So I'll wait until they are done adding to the mess and then I'll attempt to clean it out.

And their whole weirdness thing is...different for me. Arthur accused me of coughing all night long one night. I said I wasn't coughing and he made some sarcastic remark like "surrree" and didn't believe me. I really didn't cough that night. But I suppose he wasn't going to believe me. Who accuses someone of something weird like that and then not believe them when they deny it? Do they accuse each other of these things at home together? What's with the sarcasm too? Maybe I feel I've learned to communicate without so much sarcasm...

And then I lost some things of mine and texted them asking if they'd see it and I got like 5 questions back to my 1 question. Needless to say I didn't get anywhere in finding my stuff, at least with their help. In the mist of all those questions there was one sentence that said "I haven't seen it" (which was apparently the answer I was looking for) but then another question "what does it look like?" haha. If you haven't seen it you won't know what it looks like! It was slightly frustrating I got no help in my lil time of need. I don't ask that much of them.... It was just weird. It was basic communication turned all weird.

So this week I didnt have any classes on Mon or Tues and I didn't plan anything cuz it was Sara's bday on Mon. I asked if I could do stuff with Sara on her bday and they said they wanted to do a family thing at home. Okay. I wanted to do something since it was my first free night in awhile. I kept asking what they were planning on doing for their 'family night' at my house and they never gave me an answer. So I didn't find out until I came home, scratch that, I still didn't know when I got home and asked them. They made it clear tho that they couldn't stay in the house any longer, they were stuck there all day apparently and Arthur feels they were tearing the place apart and my place was too nice to destroy. So I asked if they wanted to go do something for Sara's bday like I had asked before. They didn't seem interested. So they ended up going to Arthurs dads house. I was not going there and I didnt think Sara should on her bday either, but whatever. 'Family time'. So I called Evan and we went out to use some coupons that expired the next day that we wanted to use.

So I assumed since they blew my offer off last night to go do something fun for Sara's bday (I wanted to go to Nickelcade with them) that I would get to play with Sara last night. I learned texting them would give no results as to what the plan was tonight. So I came home and found everyone dead asleep at like 5:30pm. Oy vay. This is gonna be a long night! The kids aren't going to sleep until like midnight tonight. I couldn't decide what to eat and if I should eat without them or try to make enough for them too, but eventually they woke up and it took until 7pm to wake up the kids first of all, and then to come up with a plan of McDonalds and then the Nickelcade I suggested.

It seems silly, but I got the McWrap again and I opened it up the wrong way again, and it made me sad. Why can't I eat a burrito looking thing the right way? Its not rocket science.

We got to Nickelcade about 8pm and stayed until 9:30pm. $5 to get us in, and $5 in nickels, it entertained us all for 1.5 hours. That was kinda awesome and fun and cheap. I saved like $6.25 with my coupon. Woot woot. And they had never been so it was new for them and looked exciting for the kids and they liked it and want to go back. Sara wants to go back tomorrow. I'm glad she liked it. I'm glad I finally got to be able to take her. I was wondering if they were gonna cooperate in letting me do something fun with Sara for her bday. She's 5 years old and doesn't have a home! She should have fun! Its a good age to celebrate.

Natalie made a comment after Sara woke up that she looked like a homeless child and needed to comb her hair. Arthur and I looked at each other, "Well, technically, she is a homeless child..." And Natalie rebutts, "But I dont want her have that stigma" So you just want her to pretend to be something she's not? But somewhat of a hypocrite? or what? Despite her objections she didnt get around to combing her hair so she went out to play looking like the homeless girl she is. hehe.

And then theres my poor dog. The real reason I was going to write in my journal. I think he's gotten to the point that when I come to let him out to go to the bathroom he refuses to come back in the house. I think he's had enough of screaming babies and children running around and him being/feeling stuck upstairs as he runs from them. I made sure he had a place to run and hide when Natalies family came so he wouldn't get beat up on and lose his patience/temper. But after week one, he's retaliating I think. He paces my floor huffing and puffing when I go to bed like he wants me to let him outside and just shut the door. He woke me up shoving my hands around and huffing and puffing in my face and that turned to whining. Oy vay. My dog needs a vacation. And here I thought he'd have some company and wouldn't be alone and bored, but instead he's going crazy! I finally got up this morning after his whining and plowing me and let him outside and he took off like he wasn't coming back. Sigh. I think he needs a walk tonight.

So I decided to prioritize my day today and do what I could to help the dog gain his sanity back. The family is leaving today after work around 3pm and Arthur has the car to take the kids elsewhere during the day, so he should have a break or two during the day without them home and then he'll have all night by himself while I'm at class. I'm not sure that will help him or make him go crazy more... so I'll take him for a walk before class. At first I think I was his only sanity when I came home and/or they left, but now theres just no sanity, just open the door and run he thinks. Poor Poor doggie.

Next on priorities is unclogging the bathtub and sinks. So I think I'll concentrate on getting the bathrooms cleaned and getting the draino to start working and leave it for the next few days. And I haven't seen my roommate in like two weeks, well I never really SEE her, but there are usually signs of her being home at least once a week that I haven't seen for two weeks now so maybe I'll text her and make sure she's still alive... Replacing the doorknob she broke isn't really a priority right now... cleaning the house after Natalies gone might be more of a priority...

This weekend is Conference weekend and I've been thinking about going home to the valley. I think I could paint my mothers kitchen like I've tried but theres always been kids in the house. She says the twins will be there so I dont know if that will work, but I can try it. But then it will make me sad to go back to the house, the first time since Mindy left. I have kinda avoided the house since she left cuz that was the last place she lived and last place I remember her kids running around. It makes me sad. And leaves me again with the weird feeling like they all died.

And with the empty house with no kids and no sister, that leaves a weird empty feeling cuz I know I'm going to be alone like 50% of the time I'm at home cuz Mom and Dad are always off doing things and don't make any time for me. I remember the last few times I went up and there and felt so... lost, lack of purpose, wondering what am I doing here? I dont like that feeling with a house full of ppl, let alone an empty house.

I watch TV and see empty nester mothers calling their daughters at college or whatever cuz they are bored and looking for someone to hang out with and their daughters always are too busy and blah blah. I dont think my mother will ever do that...

Maybe it'll help get my dogs sanity back tho. And then theres the question of bringing the boy up with me or not. I can't decide which would make me feel less alone or which alone feeling I want. Sitting in the house by myself and the dog with no parents and feeling alone and missing my sister, sitting with my mother and doing nothing cept waiting for when she has to leave, or sitting next to a boy that does...nothing and the dog and feeling alone. Or maybe I should just stay home and actually be alone and save some gas! Its weird to be afraid of being alone. I'm not used to being afraid of it. But at my parents house, I am. It actually makes me depressed. I guess I'm happier with the idea that no one offered and I didnt ask them to hang out with me so I can be alone rather than feeling like no one wants to make time or effort to hang out with me and be alone.

The other day the boy tried his manipulation skills on me again to try and get me to take him to the Valley with me this weekend. Sigh. He admitted he tried to manipulate me later that day and said he was sorry. It makes me happy and...actually surprised that he recognized he did that, let alone almost verbally acknowledged it to me. But it also makes me very sad that he does that in the first place. And it actually makes me NOT want to take him with me more. And I just know he's going to try and manipulate me into going to his parents house for Thanksgiving. Sigh. I just want to burst and yell something mean but truthful at him and say I dont want either of us going to either of our families activities for ANY holidays ANymore! I'm sure that will spiral him into a depression and he'll stop talking to me for a few days. Besides I have to take my dog with me everywhere I go for holidays now cuz I cant leave him at home like I used to and with Evans new car we don't have room for all of us. Evan knows I'd pick my dog over him any day.

These holidays are going to be hard for Evan this year, I can tell you that now. God please help him.

On a side note: With the government shutdown, the first in like 17 years, they have closed all the National Parks and other federal funded things. I kept thinking it was a good thing we went to the National parks the 2nd week of Sept when we did, cuz the next week it was raining more and closing the parks and then not too much longer came this government shutdown. If we had planned for late Sept trip to the parks we would be disappointed.

And then Min moves up there by Washington and they close all those museums and national monuments, etc, so Min can't even explore the place she moved too and we can't visit her and the history places anytime soon! Way to go Min, move up there and the government shuts down on us all.

If could describe or draw a picture of what the government shutdown looks like to me I'd draw a big house with a bunch of babies/5 yr olds, a group on one side of the house, a group on the other (representing the House and the Senate), in suits and ties, pointing fingers at each other and comment boxes saying things like "Nuh uh!" "Yeah huh!" "They started it!" and "No, I wont do what you say!" "He's touching me!!" and silly things like that. And that kids, is why the government can't function, let alone do a grown up thing like compromise. It really is a compromise situation I believe. I think there have been offers to compromise and one side is just really really stubborn and believes they are right. Somewhat ironic this whole shutdown started because of Obamacare....