058

Feeling: unhappy
Memorial Day   I woke up the funniest thing yesterday. It was Sunday. Mutti came and woke me up around 11:45 so I could go shower. I came upstairs to see Mutti at the kitchen table reading the newspaper and drinking something with her hair all wadded up in a towel on top of her head. I turned to get a drink on the counter. When I turned back around to see Vati behind Mutti, concentrating on the towel wrapped around Muttis head, fly swatter in hand aimed at her towel. He couldn't help but smiling and laughing a lil' bit while focusing on this fly on her towel. Just the picture of the fly swatter aimed at her head and him trying not to laugh sent me into giggles. Mutti seemed to know what he was doing and says, "Juss kill it!" and Vati asks, "Can I?". She sighs and says yes do it! So Vati starts whacking the towel on top of her head. No School today! And I get my Derek all week long! School is almost out! I might get all A's!! weeeee So yeah, apparently my health is seriously at risk here. I'm 110 and in order for my period to properly work for me (Mutti did some research) I hafta be between 110-112lbs to have a total functional period. If you haven't guessed my period isn't working...correctly as it should. I can't eat like full meals anymore. It juss cramps up my stomach and I get sick. All I can do now is juss snack....and if I wanna gain weight I hafta snack like constantly through out the day. Problem is there's nothing really to snack on and I forget to eat meals, how am I suppose to remember to snack 24/7?! I can't gain weight! My clothes don't fit anymore! I'm on the verge of being anorexic and I can't have a normal period!! Mutti keeps yelling at me like I'm supposed to gain as much weight as she wants me to have by a snap of her fingers! There's like no food in the house really either! I get stressed, I dont wanna eat, I eat, I get sick to my stomach, I stop eating. It's like a vicious cycle! I don't know what to do!! The only suggestion I have in mind is have someone help me to find things to snack on and remind me to snack all the time! I need like a schedule. This is the closest I've come to being anorexic. I feel like my stomach is the size of my palm and shrinking b/c I don't put as much food in it as I usually do. arrgghh..... I juss wish if I ingored it, it'd go away. haha...Maybe I'm scared, concerned about what it'd do to me...or what ppl would think...or worst of all...what me Mutti would do to me! Prolly more scared of what me Mutti would do than what it'd do to me. Anyways....enough of the health problems.. Derek and I 'wrestled' for the first time. Since Natalie and Ryker do it all the time. I figgered Derek was in a playful enuff mood to fight with me. So I brought on a fight. A blow to the ego. Him not having muscles. So of course he had to prove that wrong. It was hot. oh baby...oh baby. Then I did my lil' innocent bit the lip and rock back and forth thing. He said that was hot. haha... He's attempting to teach me manners, like "I'm sorry" and "please" ...haha I'm too stubborn. lol Mutti and I made a bet. If I got home on time last night then I get to stay out until midnight everynight for the rest of the week since school is getting out. Weeeee! She said I had to be hanging out with him like I usually do tho until close to curfew. So around 9:30 we were both bored but I couldn't go home until around 10:30. Sheesh. I got home like 5 minutes early. I getta do whadeva I want this week. Derek likes to put me to bed for some reason, so now he can. When I got home Mutti and Vati seemed to be in an intense convo so I came and interrupted. Mutti said she was considering being a foster home. I said okay and like left. It was only 11:30 and I was dead tired. I crashed. I had a hard time sleeping last night. I hate my bed. I'm ready to go to Kirri's house and sleep. teehee...I got up and did my two reports for class. It only took like 2 hours for both reports and a couple of interruptions. weeee! I should call Derek tho now. I said I would when I got done. I juss don't know what we'd do and I'm not even dressed. We're getting DirectTV! woowoo! I should go do something productive... I don't have a car today... And a dilemma between hanging out with Kirri and Derek...what do I do with them, how long do I hang out with each of them, will they get along together... Drama drama drama....honestly...
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Weird, u look bizzarely familiar. Have you any family in Ireland?
[Anonymous]