Listening to: Blind Melon - No Rain
Feeling: thoughtful
"Thank YOU for loving ME."
I have this speech in my head that I want to get out, to tell Ryan, to tell James, (and maybe half the worlds population) about how selfish I think they are, thinking their actions don't affect the people they love, tell them the importance of not getting into crap like that, as harmless as it may seem. Make them understand, open their eyes, give them a wake up call. Remind them of the truth and they can't run forever. Remind them that it may not be a big deal right now, no harm done, but it will catch up with them in the end, that it'll hurt the people they love in the meantime. Tell them again that it's not worth it.
I feel like I have an obligation to tell them -something- to make them think a lil' more. Even if it goes through one ear and out the other; doesn't change anything. I don't want to hurt them, but I feel they need a reminder. The kind of reminder or advice that you don't willingly receive from your folks. I'd feel better knowing that I tried. That I said something because I cared.
The only problem is...
It only shows what a hypocrite I am.
"She did it out of guilt, not love."
"You can't feel that much guilt without love."
"I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
Or say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
tonight"
-Linkin Park
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