Christmas Eve! I invited the sister missionaries over for dinner! I went to work for a couple of hours and came home to cook. Nobody was even at work and they said they would be, lame. I came home and cooked a turkey and waited in stressful anticipation for everyone to show up for dinner. I don't know why but everyone put so much emphasis on it being 'my' party that I became a lil' stressed. Needless to say the term "MY party" or dinner that I planned, was quickly withdrew. Everyone took over. Grandma mainly because it was her house and she had her set ways of doing things. Nothing I did was right. I even put the turkey in the oven and she leaned oven and pushed it a lil' farther in. I can't even put the turkey in the oven right. Ugh. The rest of the night was full of sarcastic looks (me) and obvious statements (everyone else). I now know why I haven't helped so much with dinner before - because they don't LET you help! *sigh* It slightly irked/pissed me off. Seriously, I know how to set the table. I know how to cook this, I know where to put this and I know what I want to use and ugh. I told Grandma my skin was dry and I was gonna go get some lotion, she told me a certain kind that she uses...okay.. so I went to get lotion and came back and she says "That's not what I told you" Like when she says what she uses I'm supposed to use it too? huh? Rolled my eyes and went to get hers so I wouldn't hear anymore crap about it. Everything just had to be her way that night. I love the lady but I think this is the first tiff I've had with my roommate! And Mutti came with the dog. Ruined my night right there. Why? WHY?! I kinda gave up after awhile and let them take over. Then the missionaries came over and we all sat down at the table and Mutti basically said, "Whose chair is that?" and it was the last one that and I was the only one standing and Mutti looks up "Oh, I forgot you!" Thas when I just wanted to cry. It was -my- party and they ...forgot about me. How does that happen? I must've not done so much to help. I hate when they don't let you help and then they harass you for not doing anything to help. Grr. One missionary was all bubbly, it reminded me of Kiwi. She liked cherry pie and so we gave them the whole pie - she was so excited. Grandma did her normal eat really fast and sit on the edge of her chair and watch the food like a hawk waiting for an opportunity to go back into the kitchen to get more food. It was ...stressful to sit by her and to get credit for the 'party'. Anyway, I waited until they left to squirt a few tears and get over the whole successful dinner that ...really had nothing to do with me. I grabbed my phone and disappeared into Grandmas room. I had a message on my phone. It was James. Oh thank goodness. I called him back and made the mistake of telling him I was hiding from family cuz it was a stressful day. Now he thinks that my family like beats me or something. I totally had a panic attack while talking to him. I laid on the floor and tried to stop breathing weird and twitching. It was...really nice to not have someone know and still be able to talk to someone as if..life was normal. He made me feel lots better. I came out all jolly and chipper after that. I think Min told them all I was on the phone with a boy and thas why I was so happy. We sat there on the couch and talked it was only like 7 or 8 pm and we were like...all dead on the couch. All so drowsy so we decided to go to bed... We put Braxton to bed and he was out like a light and we brought in all the presents, and junk food. I was tired but I knew I couldn't sleep cuz it was so early and I'm used to going to bed at like midnight. So I stayed up texting, watching TV, and eating ice cream. I eventually fell asleep on my 'bed' on the couch. I woke up like every two hours with Mindy puking in the toilet. I think that my dog like barks in his sleep...he woke up at like 2am and his back went out so he'd run around whining b/c it hurt him so bad. I didn't know what to do to help him. Poor old dog. I get to go home tomorrow. I can't stop thinking about him....