New Years Eve Natalie and I were talking about Ryker and how we were kinda worried about him and nobody else would express these worries to him. Then I had a dream that he had his Bday party and didn't invite any of his old friends and it was like...all girls. So he found one certain girl to flirt with out of the many and they decided to make plans to go out and have sex on New Years...ya know to bring into the new year. It was some random girl that I've never heard of or met. So for some odd reason I knew he was going to do this and it was obvious he had a condem in his wallet or pocket or something. And he was walking out his door to get into his truck and drive away with her but not the place they told their parents. Anyways....yeah, weird, so I stopped by and decided it was a good time to express my worried feelings about his new way of life ever since Natalie seemed to be out of his picture. One of the first things I said was, "Don't do it" and he's like "what?" I'm like "It's obvious your carrying a condem and you're walking out the door with a girl on New Years night" It was weird b/c he didn't even argue with me or anything he juss sat there and listened which kinda proved my whole theory of what he was doing. I was sad because I knew he didn't want to go on a mission and it was now a perfect chance to mess that up so for some reason I was crying while trying to convince him to not do what he was going to do. I mean, like I said, I don't write those poems for juss anyone...and it's not exactly me writing them all the time and there is soo much truth in them you can't ingore them. The things I told him reminded him of that poem I wrote him so he juss sat there and stared at me. I didn't juss sit there and tell him all these worldly things that would happen to him if he did...oh no....I felt stupid but I said things like "You are a son of God" and stuff...but the one thing that I remember the most telling him is if I was crying right then b/c of seeing a friend do something I know he shouldn't before it even happened, what do you think that Jesus was doing at that moment knowing before hand what his brother was going to do it? What would He be doing afterward? When I woke up I started thinking about things that God or Jesus would be crying about. If they would cry b/c they know people make decisions like that. I started thinking about New Years. They are probably crying right now b/c they know of everything that is going to go on tonight. All the drunk drivers out there, all the innocent people being killed, all the teenagers losing control of themselves, those being forced into thing. All those that choose to drink and fall for the peer pressure...all the old guys out there hitting on young teenage girls and all the guys out there period who juss happen to not kiss their wife when the ball comes down but get someone elses wife. The fights that will happen b/c of drugs and drinks, everything. I feel like crying, why wouldn't they? They know whats going to happen No, I don't really look at New Years the same way as you all do right now. I'm not thinking about the worldly things right now, the friends, the TV, the junk food, the family, the noise makers and the New Years resolutions. I'm wondering what God thinks about this New Year. What He's going to be doing tonight. How He's going to feel. I think in a way New Years is a time for our God to cry, not to much to bring in a New Year. He cried when His Son was bleeding and feeling every pain in the world, He would cry now to know that everything His Son did was pritti much in vain. Seeing His children fall into temptation would make Him cry. Just a simple plea to all of you, don't make your God and Savior cry because of the actions you choose to do this New Years holiday.