Downward spiral.

I have to get out of my head.

I have to catch myself before I fall deeper in these thoughts.

People who are not single tend to use the word "lonely" when describing us singles.

But there's so much that encompasses that word. It doesn't seem adequate.

Its the awful facts of being stuck in the same group of people for years because we all bought houses around here.

Its the terrible truth that no matter how many years we are stuck around each other nothing is going to change on the 'friend' scale between us

Its the horrible truth that if one of us just happened to disappear no one would notice

Its the sad reality that our pets are our life line, the ones who truly understand us, the ones who would notice if we disappeared, so when they pass its a earth shattering kind of loneliness and others without a tie to animals have no idea what its like

Its the shocking truth no matter how old you get your crush is not going to notice you exist no matter how much you think about them, that is until they move away and disappear, and even the next crush you inevitably find won't notice your flirtations or advances

Its the unpleasant facts that it is still a high turn over rate in a singles group as others buy houses elsewhere

Its the poor veracity that its hard to make friends in the first place and then find them leaving

Its the horrible assumption of tasks being thrown your way simply because 'you are single and stable and can handle it'

The lack of deep conversations about life

The lack of physical contact with human beings

It all feels suffocating at times

The sad fact there is no one to tell this too cept my journal that no one reads...