so i guess thats that. well i knew it would be this way its fine. no surprise and i wont bother it anymore. because. theres no point in it. no winning it now. not so much. but. what did i actually expect. really. huh? you go ape shit and well things tend to stay away from you. at least. for now. im not going to end up calling because i know what i know and im the one who blew it but whatev. thats the way the cookie fucking crumbles from time to time. hes nearly 40 anyway. not that thats an excuse. but. i dont believe he was in it for the right intentions either way. and maybe neither was i. but enough of that. and no worrying because ill make it there one of these days and ill apologize just like i shouldve today but i enjoy running from my problems if you cant tell already. ill count down the hours until its finally clear. and its all fine. no complaining because there really isnt much to whine about. not right now. ive lost more. ive done worse. i guess i wont worry so much anymore. and ill go in there tomorrow because my interview and be fine with it. nervous. embarassed. but fine. with it. and dont worry about little ol me im sure ill have tons more to distract me before i even know it. on the bright side the majority of women in aa are like nearly 80. so. my chances are good.