up again. woke up again. awake again. counting down the minutes again. until. until. work. eh. ---- my dreams are becoming a bit of trouble lately. i dreamt of a woman who looked like her. and. cried. because. even in my dreams it wasnt her. but. a woman who looked like her. and. it twists my stomach inside and out. until i can handle it no longer. and. i will finally. someday. eventually. fall. shattered. completely. to. pieces. why wont she come to me. why wont she come to. why wont she come. why wont she. why wont. why. am i so unforgivable? unforgivable so i am. i would settle for a whisper of my name. of a strange shadow against the wall. a sign of anything large or little. i would settle for anything. to know she was still with me. shouldnt i know? i suppose so. but. still. why wont she just come to me once? once? only once. maybe my heart would feel a bit better then. a. bit. better. --- off to shower.