Are useless. It's better to just drift about in life only thinking about your own life. Feeling for other people is irritating and in most cases useless. I'm giving up on the others. I applied for a job today at an amusement park. I wanted a simple cleaning position. She said they'd probably put me in a booth for games and such. Great. I'm a real people person. NOT. It doesn't matter though, a job's a job. I'm not sure if I was hired or what. She said they'd call me and she informed me of when orientation would be. So maybe. I can't have my piercings there. I need to find retainers. Or a retainer. For my lip. This should be fun. If this doesn't work out I might give up all hope of finding my dream slacker job. I don't want to work hard. I just want to be paid. We'll see I guess. SEB is planning our summer. So far we're going to 2 concerts. The bands are okay I guess. Counting Crows. Dave Matthews Band. I can dig it. I'm not picky about much. I'm not a real 'been to see a million bands' kind of person either. I just want to get out this summer. It's my last. I think. Until I have to grow up a lot more and finally get a job so I can pay back all of my lovely college loans. Damn banks. Ask for assistance and they make sure all you get is loans. I need to fill out my FAFSA. I need free money quickly. I'm not thinking about anyone in particular today. I'm not even really wondering about K or P. I'm beginning to think I may be bi-polar or just confused constantly about my emotions. If I didn't know better I'd think this was the big 'change of life' thing. I'm too young for that, so they say. I'm an emotional roller-coaster. I can't keep up with how I feel. One way one minute, another way the next. I have decided though that personal happiness cannot depend on whether or not you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. It all depends on you and your life. Love won't make me any richer. It won't really make me any cooler either. I'll be fine. I always am. I may break down every other day, but I'm still here so it all must mean something. I want to do something. Paint. Draw. Photograph. Anything artistic. It's been so long since I've let my creativity out. Tomorrow is the other half of my test. I will fail. I feel it. Tanning makes me skin feel nice. Warm. Smooth. Dark. I think I need more hobbies. Done for now.