i give up. on him. the tall boy with the bad looks and the cockiness that makes me sick. give. up. on. just. because i am not his new mary. i will not be and feel dumb enough for not noticing i was being exactly her to him. well no more of it. no. more. of. that. and he can keep his drunk dialing off of my phone. my number out of his mind and away from his hands. it doesnt make sense anywho. me. drunk dialing him constantly nonstop whenever i was loaded and near anything resembling a phone. and. he. says. stop. no more. stop calling. not interested. and. i. stop. for good. and now. he. calls. calls. calls. talks shit. hits me up when im not looking. and. i. will not be her to him. i refuse. its no use. i wont go through that kind of abuse. mind games. i dont play well with others some. times. its for the best. i can go on thinking and dreaming and waking. he can do his thing. that he does so well. i didnt call her on her birthday. i wonder somedays if she/ll ever try. to die. she never seems to be very happy. about her life. he did it. he tried. or so they say. he did. i should call her tomorrow. and i might. i hope. i do. because you need me more then i need you. as is the usual. i dont know. i dont know anything anymore and never really did. i think ill waste some more of my wasted time and smoke again. i dont know if im looking forward to work tomorrow. i cant say i know at all. if i look forward to seeing anything tomorrow. it could be worse though. it could always be worse. goodbye big country.