because. it doesnt matter. in the end. nothing. will be here to matter or. unmatter. there is no right. nor wrong. there is no right. nor wrong. just.do.what.you.feel. because. eventually. all time will be gone. so run wild. while. running wild is a possibility. and.fuck.reality. ************************* every now and then. i try to bother him. but. its only out of habit. ************************* today. i work. again. but. tomorrow is my day off. and. last night was boring. as hell. so. i wont complain. because. there is no real pain. just. not looking forward to the long.hot walk to the bus stop. and. i dont know why sarah doesnt stop in anymore. she hates me i assume. she dislikes me i assume. or. maybe shes waiting for me to hunt her down. to call. and call. and call. and see how she is. but. i wont. because. i dont really care. just. like i could really careless. about everyone i know. except the new people i know now. and. i need drugs. ***************************** i keep having dreams. of unkind and confusing things. im not quite sure what its all supposed to mean. but. what does anything truly mean. nothing. **** i need lettuce.