join me any day of the week and ill glad give you some i cant explain and im tired of trying to reason with myself and to make it all make sense that i am beginning to believe it never will and possibly cant a few more months and im on to a new life or i guess the new life has already appeared i'm just not treating it that way and right now my hip is bleeding and i feel sick right now i want to lie down and get more rest but i hate rest there is no rest for the wicked and in situations like this everyone expects you to continue playing some key role in their little life but i have no role there i have no place in certain lives because i will not be there and would not be were i not here trapped like i am now and i guess im not really trapped i pick to be here i choose to be sober i choose to not leave yet even though ive been tempted more then once these last few weeks and all i have to do is hold onto the center and pray real nice