[ring ring] I feel tired. and icky. I have class later, a history class. I need to get in class mode now. I can't waste any time, I guess. I've already pretty much wasted the first week of classes. I feel guilty. Regret is on my back now. I hate this. I don't feel upset. or depressed. or anything. I feel pretty numb and lost. Everything just feels so slow. and beating. I have four hours until class. ugh. Why can't I get in the mode? Why don't I feel it? I don't know. Maybe because it's my last semester. Maybe because I'm a little nervous. About the FUTURE AND ALL THAT. I don't know. I have 3 months. I need to slow down my mind and pay attention. I need to get a feel for it all. Let the information sink in somewhere. I can only hope I get a grip. My entries are getting tired and boring. I wish I had more to write about. More to do. More to say. More to think. I don't. it's all fading quickly. My interest in things. I feel unattached. boundless. Caged. And waiting. "I have seen the night and I love it." DFN.