and.maybe.we.all.like.it.the.hard.way. because.when.it.all.comes.too.easily. we.know.its.only.a.matter.of.fucking.time. before.it.all.decides.to.completely.fall. i need to make out. i need to find a boy to make out with. i find my mind wandering back to patrick. and. how i wish i wouldve met him now. because. i felt so comfortable. because. he seemed so lovely. but. it wasnt meant to go any way. the. same thing with joe. its all the same. i wonder when itll come. when itll come my way. just. someone to make out with. someone to have fun with. someone. to. kiss. so childish. so fucking childish. im tired of worrying about being the old me. some times i think shes slipping her way back in. and. i panic. because. i dont want to be her again. i cant be her again. because. its just too heavy and depressing. besides. im so much prettier now. and. feel happier now. -------------------------------------- blasting words in my hearing space. floating across the world coming from outerspace. allowing all my lies to be pacified. and. to rest for a minute. or two. until the last thoughts come across and time is due. and. all debt to be ignored. fall to the heavens. crawl on the floor. lifes way too fucking short. --------------------------------------- send me someone. to make out with. and. ill try harder to change still. ----------------- i keep having dreams where i get caught stealing. ive made a huge effort not to take anything from anyone now. anything. from. anyone. and. i keep having the dreams.