I have been thinking since my last entry and it has occured to me that instead of bitterness or anger I need to concentrate on feeling happy. I cannot hold other people accountable for my unhappiness with myself. This is something I need to put into practice. I am a wonderful preacher when it comes to life, but I never directly follow the advice I so anxiously give out to other people. This is a mistake I have made throughout my life. I focus too much on other people instead of paying attention to what I need to do to make myself happier. The meds can't work alone. It all comes down to my perception of myself, no one elses. I feel a lot better now. I don't feel so unhappy and sad. It all takes time I guess. Lots and lots of consuming, painful time. I am done for now.