burning. in. and. out. and. around. not so clear is anything anymore. i find myself moving into some dump of a mobile home. i find myself missing her less and less and more and more from day to day. i find myself lost. and lost. i find myself. too much for words. and still i miss it all. the before. this present. the past. of my time now. nothing seems the same. although it is. sort of. less people in my life. more people in my life. less good. less bad. less and less and then some more gone. i am not who i used to be. but now am who i forgot to be. or. something. my mind hurts. so i avoid thinking. until forced. i need a job. but prefer being poor. i need more. then i am getting. i need something. more. i have realized that everyones is a wannabe and all wannabe's will eventually take over the world. it is so easy to fall into someone else's life. i need a life to steal. a personality to copy. i'd like to paint. i'd like to write. i'd like to snap pictures. i'd like to be something more. and find myself being less. each passing day. and this is how nothing will change. change must be forced. pushed. pulled. beaten from time to time. time. minutes. hours. seconds. centuries. years. miliseconds. on. and. on. how do you feel today? the same as yesterday? how will you feel tomorrow? lost in the same useless sorrow? i will be something else. i will be.