if ill ever make sense. if my life with ever make sense. if ill ever take charge. take responsibility. first homeless. then sent a signed car title to a cokehead. and now. a 500$ fucking phone bill. i cant win. and. i make myself lose. time and time and time and time and time again. because. i just cant deal. i just cant be responsible. and grow up. way up. how upsetting. how disappointing. to know i am the one and only one who gets myself in these situs. these tight spots. these troubled areas. "one bullet to the brain please?" ONE SIZE FITS ALL. the more that goes wrong the more i wonder how much more ill decide to take. im a failure. a complete and utter waste of much needed space. right now. someone should have my time here. someone should be here who actually knows what theyre doing. who actually does what they should. someone or something much more deserving of this time im wasting. -------------------------------------- cotton candy dreams. poison filled schemes. and then walking around solves not a thing. not any of the problems i bring. anyways. on stranger days. caught burning in a blaze. of disappointment. and to have just one more moment. of easiness. im such a mess. a miss. everything before and after this. bullshit. complete bullshit. absolute bullshit. fucking bullshit. my entire life. the entire past 25 goddamn years. a waste. a complete fucking waste. what good am i?