all the stories have been told. all the movies made. all the good songs sung. all the heroes hung. -- in times like this we should...all. please keep all appendages in the vehicle please. we should all. move along. like sheep. o.wait.nevermind. there are certain things i give up trying to control. my drinking. my loneliness. my bitterness. my life being such a fucking mess. my embarassment. my feeling. and. yes. i am in that type of mood where everything makes me wonder about my entire place on this entire planet and what it all means to be breathing and moving. have you ever thought for a moment. like this moment. right now. here. this second. this very minute. that your entire life is a lie. a boldfaced loud right in your face lie. what if right now an entire audience is sitting in a crowded sweaty theater watching the entire mistake you call your life on the big screen. what if theres even theme music. lame. calling all the shots and predicting all of the problems. theme music. that some random bad excuse for a dj picked out because he felt it fit the mood. what if. this is all just some huge pretend game where everyone around you is forced to pretend day after day after bitter day that they do actually care that they do actually like you all because some big guy behind the scenes is paying them a rather decent paycheck. what if you are the truman show. than again. what if youre not and this is all just some game the aliens thought up long ago. like an ant farm. but. most likely this is real and this is the best it is ever going to get. and i hate thoughts. ----------------------------- this computer feels hot. any minute now i may begin to smell cloth burning.