forth. onto my virtual paper. and. become the thing that they were meant to be. floating angels on an abandoned white screen. and. i still live to dream. although. all things are never what they seem. they come close enough for now. and. when you speak make it mean something. put it into words. or speech. make it mean something. because. it all goes too quickly. and. be tough on the ones you love. because. if they cannot find saving from above. at least they still have your love. and. i do not believe in jesus nor mary. i believe in life. and. sometime we will all end up in hell. but. to me thats ideal. because. the rest of my gang will be waiting. arms out stretched. and. hearts pulsating. i do not fear death like many do. because. i know living is worth more. even if one window closes. and. refuses to open a door. i am more. i do not expect him to ever forgive me. because. i have taken it all too far. and. i do send mixed signals. and. mixed messages. but. i will no longer apologize. because. when i do its all just lies. i do like who i am. because. i think. i breathe. and. no. i do not give a fuck. not really. not naturally. and. i am best this way. because. i still expect to remember. and. hold yesterday. and. i will. close to my heart. because. her memory. and. i. will never part. i will survive. and. thrive. and. breathe. and. leave. from time to time. but. do not hate. nor regret me. because. i am more then your poor eyes will ever see. watch me come like a thunder storm. watch me leave with the shock of electricity. i am not frightened of the me i want to be. because. i am beauty. either way. so fuck you. and. your perfect nature. fuck you. and. your weaknesses. fuck you. and. your wanting to be so much more then youll ever be. because. some of us are meant for grand things. and. the rest of you are meant for nothing. it isnt my fault. blame the god. not i. because. although these eyes do lie. my heart always speaks the truth. so hit the floor. and. kiss the roof. because. you are nothing. and. nothing are you. if only you knew what it was to lose that one thing. fucking little bastards who cut and whine and bitch and count the time. fake punks. losing goths. nothings. mediocre things. because. everyone is so obsessed with being different. and. unfortunately. you. are. all. the. same. and. growing. more. dull. and. lame. accept the fact that we cannot all be poets. or artists. or feelers. or dealers. or wheelers. some of us are just lower then the rest. you could not match me at your best. for i feel the pain in my sides. in my brain. and. always. pushing on my chest. wisdom. comes. with. knowledge. not. experience. and. i am tired of the conformity of our doomed society. we have nothing to fight for. and. have decided to fight no more. we accept. we approve. we smile. and. nod. and. forget. fuck you. and. your mislead minds. and. petty little brains. i am insanity. i am pain. do you see how weve all become such lambs? such followers? and. the order is shifty. depending on income. and. nothing makes me want to vomit more then seeing some little blonde girl in a trucker hat and skater shoes. because. when i was young. you couldnt buy punk. you couldnt buy a personality. you actually had to exist. as. one. fucking commie bastard youth. this world is just waiting to fall apart. and. you are all lined up. waiting as well. independent thinking is a thing of the past. buy another wristband please. and. call it a day. your soul will never last. and. if you dont agree. fuck you. i could careless about your opinions. or. life. this is to be. and. these words are the beauty. of. me.