Another day another dollar, if only I was getting paid. Today has been the usual day for my classes. I spoke to P today. A lot like usual. Flirting so subtly hoping that maybe he would notice. "IM me, I'm online all the time." I don't get it. I bothered him for weeks to get online so we could chat. I stop. And now he mentions it. More than a few times today. He also walked me to my next class. I wish I didn't like him so much. I wish. But I do. No matter how hard I pretend I don't. It's there. Burning me. Stupid crushes. I want to tell him to call me, to contact me, to show my some sign that he's slightly interested in getting closer. But I won't. And if I did I'd feel like an even larger jack ass. There is no point in winning or losing because the game of life sucks most of the time. I'm trying to handle all these crappy emotions. Dealing with my flaws. Wishing I were different. I'm fasting today. For seven days. I need to clean out my system again. Better this time. I need to deal with my obsessions. I can't wait until this semester is finally over. I need a break from feeling so much for someone who doesn't seem to care nor notice. Why? That's all I can keep asking. Why? Why? Why? This weekend will be pretty boring. I'm not going out. I don't think. Even if I was I wouldn't be happy. Too much is on my mind. Financial Aid. Classes. Papers. Tests. The list goes painfully on. I'm wondering if I really want to see K today. There doesn't seem to be a point to it anymore. He doesn't go out of his way to contact me. Why should I? Oh it doesn't matter. Today's Friday and there's no need to worry about anything. I'll be fine, I always am. Done for now.