Not mine. It's SEB's big 22 today. She's older than me. Although she doesn't look it. A month and two days to be exact. My glasses have this soft, blurry thing going on. It's like watching a flashback or something. Anyways. I may have to change my shirt. The sleeves are too stretched now so when I push them up they don't stay. This annoys me. I haven't had a drink in almost 2 days. I'm not sure if this sobriety will last. I'm not sure I can handle reality in such a raw way. I haven't heard from anyone at all. No one. Well except SEB. I need to make new friends. Maybe once I'm thin I'll be more appealing to everyone. Oh well. I had a dream about a hockey player last night. He was being chased around by rabid turtles. Which is odd. Anyways. He ran and he ran in circles. The turtles just slowly followed behind. Half the time he passed them. Weird. I than proceeded to dream about midgets in clown costumes. They did nothing but stand with their faces towards a wall. Note to self: No more dropping acid before falling asleep. I wish I had acid. Or anything. I'm about to buy some whip cream and inhale the chemicals. Huffing. It's so square. Still. This is the longest I think I've ever gone without anything. How frightening. Indeed it is nice waking up and knowing where I am and what I did last night. As for running away. Maybe someday. Right now I guess I was meant to suffer in the bowels of hell. I don't know. I never will. I decided to stop guessing. To stop wanting. And wishing. And dreaming. It's useless. Shit. I might as well pray. So this is what I will do today: Visit SEB. Take SEB a cake. Eat cake. Go to lunch. Pay for lunch. Find something to do. Talk to SEB. Get bored. Leave. Maybe stop for some Smirnoff. Yes. That's my day. I am off to reek crazy boring havoc. Done for now.