never far enough away. always. still. close. to. everything. and i still have problems waiting for me back in erie. still. and still. i guess. or suppose i always will have something waiting back there in that god.for.saken place. my luck there faulted. quite a bit. and. wont ever return the same. i suppose. thats why i fear i can or could or wont ever return there for good. not to live. not like before. because. we just dont agree any longer. erie and i. it doesnt feel the same as it did once before. and now that ive been out. how can i go back to a place where i really have nothing or no one to look forward too. how can i spend a life time there being nothing to no one. how can i spend a life time there being the same old person ive always been there. no. i dont. want. that. i want to feel something new and different all of the time. and i dont want to remain in the same place once that place gets old. im not afraid of leaving las vegas for some other place. sarah has left me on my own here. and i suppose its for the best. ill get over all tension. and survive. because. thats what i do. i keep. breathing. because. thats. all. i. have. because. everyone. wants. something. from. you. no. matter. what. they. say. no one means anything. they say. because. everyone lies. and it wouldve been nice if whatshisname wouldve helped me out. but. he lies as well. i couldve used the knowledge he promised. i coulve gotten a grip on things. i believe. but. everyone lies. and no one has your back. because. theyre too busy having their own. and. thats how it goes. im not worried nor concerned about anyone i used to know. because. here i dont care. i really dont. because. whatever happens thats on them. not me. and i dont really care either way. about anyone i know or did know. sarah included. shes become a stepping stone. and. thats cold. i know. but. its the way of the world. and. i do believe. i will get a job here. and i will leave here. and move some place else. and find something there. because. i can. and i might as well.