Today has been a horrible day for a number of reasons. K e mailed SEB. I don't really care anymore. I don't care about anything really. I just don't. I refuse to keep caring. I refuse to keep feeling bad. I refuse. I pigged out. Punishment. My stomach is killing me. I can't do it like I used too. It's been too long. And my body's changed. Never again. Never. I'll be going to bed soon. Maybe I'll have some nice deep happy dream. Maybe, but probably not. I won't e mail K ever again. I won't. I know I won't. I don't care too. He's nothing to me. Nothing at all. Neither is P. Or Mike. Or anyone else I've listed before. Absolutely nothing to me. I don't care what happens to any of them. I don't care what happens to anyone anymore. I just don't care anymore. Damn my stomach hurts. I should've known better. Well I did know better, I just didn't want to stop myself. Next time I think I will. I need to move. I need to leave this place. I need to go. First, I need a job. Than some money. And than I can go. Hopefully. I'm tired. And bored. And sad. And ill. And stupid. Time for bed. Done for now.