and she can no longer compose a sentence. and speak to me and she no longer knows what to say. or how to say it. and it comes. and goes. and comes. and may you burn for this. and burn for that. it's coming down to the bottom. down to the home stretch. this neglect. this life. is beginning to end. and only through death do such things come. do such horrible things come. one by one. i cannot lie. and say she won't die. i cannot lie. and let it by. i cannot. pretend. this isn't. the end. i can't fix it at all. i can't. not here. not now. i would like to say that nothing matters today. i would like you to know i do not care how you fair today. i don't. for good reason. because it's coming soon. whether i like it or not. i can feel it in my sad bones. i can feel it. growing. large. swallowing us both. before the night. before the day. before it all. tangled webs of lies. passing souls who always die. immortal memories of forgotten times. i have no more forgiveness. i have no more wanting. i have no more. no more. it is all changing for the worst. my heart is burning. my heart is cursed. dfn.