"I have no nuts to give." I spent time shopping today. and waiting to meet up with SEB for our Christmas Lunch. I spent all this time looking for something for her. i decided that simple things were the best. M gave me 300$$ on credit. cash. I felt bad. well i feel bad. but i won't say no. i never do. I've been coughing like crazy since this morning. my throats beginning to hurt. I can't take getting sick again. I never got sick for years until. i went and foolishly had my septum pierced. (Septum = small piece of fat between nostrils) My nose has been in agony ever since. Not to mention my lungs. And muscles. And bones. And everything. SEB is now seeing a boy named GRANT. He collects antiques and such. Plays hockey and trains little one's for hockey as well. He sounds almost boring. Almost. Except for the part where his money comes in. I don't think I'll be seeing much of Grant. I don't know why. I just have this feeling. WILL and PRD still haven't contacted me. I'm not sad or desperate or lonely or anything. I feel fine. even relieved. I don't have time to wait anymore. Or want to wait anymore. I'm done. SEB got me a nice little candle holder. It has faeries on it. Or one to say the truth. It's nice. And sweet. And warm. I think tonight I'll come home, roll a j, and chill out for awhile. Maybe even wrap some presents. Since tomorrow is EVE and all. Well I think now I'll go and pee. My kidneys hurt right now. "There is no peace like this right now." DFN.