I'm not sure what's going on. P has been acting less and less interested in goofing around with me. Maybe I didn't react the way he wanted me too. Maybe he thinks I'm no longer interested. Maybe he's just being himself. Boring. Plain. I don't know. The beginning was almost like before. But now. The more I see him, the less I feel. I don't feel anything really. Not even the slightest hint of my crush. Which is weird. Weird for me. I don't know. It's not like any of this matters. P and I will pass time until the semester ends. And than I won't see him again. And than I'll feel better. I don't like wanting something. I should be used to feeling like this now. I do it all the time. Get huge crushes on unattainable people. Unattainable for me anyways. Maybe it's me that's causing the weirdness. Trying to get close. And it's not working. He went out with Monica before. And Bree. I mean. Shouldn't that be a sign? I think so. I don't have what it takes to make people want to get closer to me. It's like they know they can't. It's my own fault I guess. I should've acted different. Less interested. Way less. Or something. I'm sick of thinking about this. I think after today, I'll stop. He's so unyielding. If he wanted to get closer, he would try. And that's that. It's the truth that I don't want to deal with. There is nothing between P and I. There never was a spark. Or vibe. Or anything. I feel a little blah still. But I feel happy. Slightly relaxed. Comfortable. I'm done being someone else. Acting like something else. Pretending. There's no point. If people can't take you for what you are, than screw them. I don't need certain people in my life. I've lived without P, so this will be no different. Now I just have to stop my mind from wondering about him. He has my book. I hope I didn't leave anything incriminating in there. Oh well if I did. It doesn't matter. I've screwed up thus far. What's a little more screwin'. I hate waiting for class. I have all this time to do nothing. (Fuck P) There. I need to let all this corny ass shit go. Move on with my own damn life. Stop dwelling on the dumb shit I think and do. I need to do my homework tomorrow. E mail questions to that lady. And hope for a quick reply. I think I'm going to end this now. I don't have much more to complain about. DFN.