No mood or music. Today I am sitting here bored. We just ate dinner. I'm stuffed. Like a turkey. Hamburgers on onion buns with a salad on the side. Yum. It was delicious. Moving on. Today I didn't do much. Went to the store. Bought some lettuce. Checked the newspaper to see if my father's died yet. The usual stuff I usually do on the usual days. Tomorrow. We're driving to Pittsburgh. Dave Matthews Concert. I'm not a huge fan. But any excuse to get out of town is delightfully wonderful. SEB. And me in a car together for 3 hours straight. I hope no one gets hurt. Or goes insane. No one, namely myself. It shouldn't be so bad. I'm pretty good at blocking things out. I've been thinking lately about my life. Where I want to go. What I want to do. And I've settled on the same thing I've always wanted to do. Travel the U.S. It hit me today though, well sometime last night, that travelling the U.S. may be difficult since I don't owe a vehicle and have no pesos to purchase one. So my solution. I shall travel by bus. I figure buses go everywhere. Fare is sort of cheap. And I wouldn't have to worry about it breaking down and being stranded. So that's it. My plan. My life list it goes something like this: 1. Lose weight. 2. Get nosed pierced on Birthday. 3. Find job after benefits run out. 4. Save money. 5. Find army duffel bag. 6. Secure my possessions somewhere. 7. Buy atlas and maps. 8. Buy beautiful digital camera. 9. Work hard my last year of college. 10. Graduate. 11. Get drunk. 12. Take a nap. Will finish list later. SEB called crying. Friends first. First of all I would like to declare something. GOD HATES ME. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe it's because I never attend church. Maybe it's because I use his name in vain. Maybe it's because of my philosophy on religion. Maybe it's because he's just a big, almighty jerk. SEB's cat is officially dead. It's sad. Sad. But these things happen. Don't mistake this for the reason why God hates me. No, it's not because of the cat. It was a lovely cat though. But 17 years is a long time in the feline world. Moving on. God hates me because he does. Technology is not my friend. I wrote the beginning to my book. My masterpiece. And foolishly saved it on the computer instead of a disk. Now to my heartache it's gone. Pages of my brilliant thoughts. Gone. If this computer had a neck I'd be strangling it right now. I feel like finding a baseball bat and showing my emotions. Damnit. I haven't written anything good in months, maybe even years and now it's gone. Gone with a capital FUCK. These are the reasons I drink. Nothing works out for me. FUCK. All right I need to go and lay down. Done for now.