"I can tell just by the light of the moon that we are indeed doomed." My pulse is a little shaky. My TUMMY too. My mind. and my brain. and my fingers. *SHAKY* Something's making me a little nervous. Putting my brain cells on edge. Something's coming. i can feel it. Smell it. Breathe it. Almost touch it. Things are going down. all over this town. Signs aren't coming quick enough. I live by flashes of light. Bursting sound. Something to warn me. I'm waiting. Testing each step. Fate's lessons never end. I almost forgot my way. My philosophy. If you don't agree. step back. Don't judge. Or ridicule. This is how it is for the few. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) I've done some bad shit. Lied too much. Caused ripples in the water. I am the stone. The pebble skimmed across the top. Disturbing the peace. the tranquility. I don't feel comfortable for some reason. I feel a little un-EVEN. a little off balance. It just doesn't feel right. right now. Call me a clown. but don't dare laugh when the shit hits the FAN. I don't want PRD anymore. i realized i don't like his style. "You're ghetto-fabulous." Am I? Too deep to come out. I don't like his assumptions or his opinions. I don't like his degrating little comments. Or his arrogant attitude. I've realized I'd destroy him. Tear him to pieces. He's too weak for a bitch like me. I'm fickle. Sure. I yearn. i want to be close to him. for a time. maybe? It's hard to decide anymore. I'm hooked on the WANTING TO BE IN LOVE shit. And that's all it is. Shit. Some of us are meant to be alone. We function better that way. All I know is pain. And all I can give is the like. Making someone miserable makes me a little happier. I don't dig him anymore. not like that. His girlfriend is probably just as annoying. They belong together. I don't know what it is exactly that he did or said that pinched my NERVE. but his ass did something. Something's brought on this TICK of dislike I have for him. it wasn't there before. Not a hint of dislike or annoyance. This is how it goes. His loss. Now. Back to school and work and shit and shit. "You quit your job? Do you ever think?" No. I don't fucking think. thinking is a trend i missed. I don't need to think. I act on impulse. and that's enough for me. "Yesiree." So classes fucked up. I have to talk to my sweet little advisor tomorrow. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Damn this shit for making me all nervous and what not. Damn school for only aggrevating me more than educating me. And damn to be damned. I got a pint of Smirnoff upstairs. waiting. I got studying to do. (But I probably won't.) I got some other shit too. But one thing at a time. My addictions have made me a ZOMBIE. M is annoying me more and more. Ragging my ass like I'm her daughter. O wait. i am. but still. She needs to lay off. SEB, well we spoke. she doesn't bother to hang with me no more. I won't bother to ask. Or look into it. I don't really care. O, I'm such a bad best friend. (hmm?) Oh well. I never signed up for this shit. I think I'll go now and write a little piece of my homework assignment. Maybe I'll even study before I drink. [notice the word MAYBE.] "Well sure...if you wanna be a dick about it." DFN.