i dont know what it is. about me that makes it so complicated. its like im some diamond in a glass case being watched. untouchable. or they dont know how to get to me. and im so vain but so self concious. it doesnt make much sense. im a pretty girl. with beautiful eyes. and i tell even better lies. i dont know what it is. that makes me stand away. never forward. always hiding. but knowing they want me. but never going near. my heart waits in fear. of what im not sure. all i know is i havent found the cure. the tall boy i love. may love me. but its never going to be seen. because im just no good at being vulnerable. damn it. damn me. damn him for being the one i might actually have a chance with. i just need a nice hug. a good hug. and someone to touch my face. i miss affection. like i would miss my leg. i need it. she made me on i love yous everyday and hugs for the pain. she spoiled me by loving me too much. 4 days. and im done.