Screaming, tearing, ripping horror. Fighting, struggling, crying mess. Why do we hate each other so? Why can I not control my anger with you? You make me miserable enough to scream. Yet, I do not leave. Grabbing, pulling, pushing rage. Hitting, smacking, hurting pain. Why must it always come to this? Why can you not just let me be? I make you miserable enough to cry. Yet, you do not want me to leave. Regretting it all. Forgetting none of it. Why does it have to be like this? Why must we suffer seperately? Sadness surrounds us entirely. Death sits silently by watching. Why must it always come to this? Why? Will you miss me when I am gone? Will I miss you once I leave? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tonight is probably the worst night of my 21 year old life. My mother and I fought worse than ever. I am cold. I am cruel. I am heartless. I am spoiled. I am nothing. I am uncaring. I am useless. I am lazy. I am scum. I am unforgiven. I am unloved. Nothing will be the same after tonight. Not like before. There will be no making up. No love. No apologies. No forgiveness. I wish I could just run away. Take a small vacation from this life. Why can't I focus on reality? Why must I play these games? Why must I hate so much? Why? I feel like crying. I think I will. I am done for now.