I learned a few things today. A few sad facts about someone I care about very much. A person a lot like me. She's younger. Yet she's still on the same level soul wise. She's a writer. I admire that. Anyone who writes or likes to write. I'm scared for her now. Scared that maybe I waited to long to notice that maybe she needed me. It scares me so much. I don't like letting people down. But after awhile the people you try to help let you down so much that you stop trying to help others. I'm hoping that all of this happened for a reason. That maybe D called just in time. It's unusual to hear someone asking me for help because they know I'll try. They know what I'm like. They know. And in a way that makes me smile. But breaks my heart. I want to tell everyone I care about how perfect and lovely I think they are. I want to shelter them from everything. I want to rescue them. I want to protect. It breaks my heart time and time again when things get worse for these people. When situations never change. When things just seem so hopeless. I wish I could fix it all. I do. Honestly. My heart hurts so much some times I want to lay down and die. I don't. But I wish. I'm far from perfect. I'm far from anything. Yet, in my heart I hold this special feeling. This feeling of knowledge about something no one else quite understands. I feel it. I know it. I can't explain it. But maybe sometimes I can show it. I don't want her to feel so alone. Not like I have. So empty and sad. So down and beaten. I want to help. Maybe I'm blowing this whole thing out of proportion, but maybe I'm not. I think I'll check anyways to make sure that it's all okay and if it's not I'll do my damnedest to fix it. Or try to help. I can't fix it, but I can make it slightly better. I hope it's not too late. Not again. Give me some time this time. To work with her. To talk with her. To get to know her. Maybe it's the writer in me. The drama queen. The mess. My need to protect everyone makes me feel so sad sometimes. Because I can never seem to do it. Protect them. Show them that there is more to life than getting smacked around or neglected. I hope that this is a real chance. I hope I don't fall and screw it up. I have a feeling I won't. Not this time. No anger. Only compassion. Patience. Hope. And love. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For all those that shed a thousand tears I shed one for all For all those silent voices screaming I scream for all For all those in pain I cry For all those lost I suffer For all those so alone I wait With open arms A soft voice A gentle hug And with vicious compassion. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What a day. Done for now.