"I just knew it..." I went and filled out another lengthy, somewhat humorous job application today. I was one of at least thirty people applying. The unemployment rate is high in this small city. Most of the other applicants were in their late 30's, early 40's. It's kind of sad if you think about it. See our city has decided to close or sell off most of it's factories. We are destined to be a ghost town. They trying to make this into a tourist destination, but it won't work. Who in their right mind would want to come here for their vacation? Maybe you have to live here to understand why no one should come here. It's lame here. And broke. And we've been getting a lot of weird crime waves lately. It's best to stay away. (Enough of this.) I'm giving up all expectation. And moving forward towards my destination. I'm not going to rot here or die. I'll find my path eventual-lie. I'm not feeling anything right now. I don't feel stressed or nervous or even relaxed. I feel BLAH. Empty. Numb. Slightly confused, but not concerned. I'm going to give up my addictions. No more. Last night I fed my need and felt the guilt afterwards. The let-down. It's becomming so repeating now. So definite. Almost annoying. I need to concentrate on more important things. Like losing weight. And passing my classes. It's time for my addiction to take a break. Sit in the backseat for awhile. Enjoy the ride until I'm ready to stop again. It's a pain, it really is. We're all addicted to something. Some things more harmful than others. I need to find a good addiction. A clean activity. I need to save some brain cells for future use. Maybe? Probably? (Oh when the saints...come marchin in.) I'm thinking about Pat like usual. Wondering how he is. What he might be doing. Lame things like that. I'll let go eventually. Soon. Right now? In a minute, all right? Well I think this is all I have to share. For now anyways. As the case usually goes. "Save a tree...buy leather." DFN.