I'm tired of being torn and unhappy. I think I need to either drink more or smoke some more. I better be careful the phones are tapped. I knew a guy who thought that about every phone he ever used. So he'd always use code language like: "Why don't we have SPAGHETTI tonight? I'll bring the OREGANO." The only problem was that no one ever knew what he was talking about. The usual response would be: "No thanks I already ate." So he'd have to go more into it and it usually just ended with him saying: "The damned phones tapped come smoke some weed." I miss the people I used to know. The losers. The druggies. The practically homeless, but still partying people. I'm beginning to think that college is for the real losers. You never meet anyone really fun or really original. I don't know whether I should move or not. If I do I can predict the result of waking up on a daily basis in my own fluids. I don't like a stable life. If I had my way I'd drink, smoke, toke, and whatever else all night and day. Well that's when I wouldn't be working. I have simple dreams. Slacker dreams. Working a useless 1 until 8 p.m. kind of job. Getting paid minimum wage. Having my own little shack. I don't know how people handle the stress of wanting an actual better life. I find working towards a life of poverty hard enough. If only we had lamps with genies in them. One rub, 3 wishes, and the finality of your dreams. I don't know what to do anymore. So I've decided not to do anything about anything. Let it all go. Toaism. Or if I can't spell. Taoism. Either way. Lao Tzu had the right idea. Do nothing. Everything gets done. Right on my chinese brotheren. Somedays I wish I was Amish. I wonder what a high-speed chase is like in a buggy. I'd like to call everyone brother and sister. I think it would be fun to churn some butter. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day. Maybe. Done for now.