[i don't believe in destiny] [i don't believe in lies] [i don't believe in santa either] so here i am again. in full-EFFECT. feeling like a total wreck. someone please rub my neck? in doubt. that's what it's about. i spent time working today. 9 hours to exact. well an hour off for din-din. or whatever. two girls invited me to toke up in the parking lot. afterwards. i mentally said "NO." sorry ladies. none for me not right after work anyways. and not sitting in some strangers car either. i feel good being clean. sober. fresh. what have you. I FEEL GOOD, damnit! SEB and i seem to have some wall between us lately. she has a new man. (and i dub him "coke") cause you know. he runs with that kind of past. so SEB and COKE have been spending a lot of time together. i think she may be mad at me. but i can't point it. can't get it down and figure it out. she won't want to go out WEDNESDAY. so we won't. i'm angry. mostly disappointed. it'll be our last BLUE DRINK night. i'd call and ask PRD, but he'd say no. or make up some LAME ass excuse. (and that would be even worse than NO) so woe is me. i been rejected. and neglected. left in the street. watch my heart-ACHE repeat. i have seen cold eyes. and heard old lies. i have walked in loneliness. and suffered from restlessness. so spare me from your pity. i am one with myself. and one with this city. and BITE IT, fucker! so i'm moving on. and moving up. to a higher plane. a better place. my mind's a little brighter. starving is doing me well. indeed. right now i must go and watch JAY LENO. cause he's the fucking bomb! (to put it ebonically) I'm OUT. "We are doomed to be together..." DFN.