have it my way and the next thing you know youre calling out of work because you just spent the past 48hrs coming UP and down off of my lovely charlie. i never claimed to be the most responsible person. i never claimed to be a person. GOTH NIGHT. AWESOME. EXCELLENT. where all the freaks get together and dance like morons to heavy beats and even heavier drinks. i like it. i love it. i got to go tonight and get more of it. and i owe everyone my charlie. damnit. still kinda sorta tryin' to be in love with the tall boy jason. i cant help it. and its killing me. because i know its just there to keep me busy. and now im all weird and sweaty. LINES. LINES. LINES. LINES. RAILS. RAILS. RAILS. A.W.A.K.E. --------------------------- the months are repeating and i already feel defeated. "take the money and run" she said. and. "i think i will" i said. why not. i should enjoy it a bit. because fuck the world dont ask me for shit. cause everything you get you got to work hard for it. EXACTLY. and i forgot how much i loved to write poetry. --------------------------- i want what i want when i want it. it want i when want i what want i. SAY THAT 800 times fast. i miss. people. i want. people. i love. people. i hate. people. here and there. and back again. ---------------------------------- i dont believe in suicide. but i believe in wanting it to end. i believe in being so tired of trying that not trying sounds a hell of a lot better. i believe in wanting. craving. getting. abusing. laughing. and losing. --------------- i need a hug. or i will in a few weeks. ill need an extra big strong hug. i need someone to hold me up. because my own arms and legs and mind and soul are getting worn thin. REALIZE. THAT. THIS. IS. THE. ONLY. TIME. IN. YOUR. LIFE. WHEN. YOU. CAN. DO. EXACTLY. WHAT. YOU. SHOULDNT.