Nothing feels better than being clean and sober. Well strike the sober part. Today I'm going to just let go and relax. I have an exam, but I can't do anything about it now. It doesn't matter. My brain is dissolving as we speak. M and I are unattached lately. Both depressed. Both unhappy. Both miserable. Both without one another. I have decided that I will not feel pathetic or desperate any longer. I will not beg for attention. I'm not a dog. I'm not an animal at the animal shelter who needs a home. I have a home, sort of. I'll be fine. I won't be weak. I won't be a loser. I won't feel bad over someone I hardly know. I won't feel bad over someone who doesn't see my potential. I won't feel bad over anyone, except myself. This won't be easy. But nothing ever is. I wish I had some marijane. Some vodka. Something. SEB is turning into an alcoholic. I'm her best friend. I don't know if I should bring this to her attention. Maybe it's not alcoholism, it's most likely depression. She must've got ahold of K last night. If she hadn't she would've called back. I think. It doesn't matter. I'm not consuming myself with these useless situations. It will all pass. It will all be fine, eventually. I need to get another shower. I need to get ready for class. Done for now.