"We are everything, but lucky." Friday was an unusual day. Or a usual day of unusual things. Or a day full of usual things that felt unusual. Either way. I fell back down again. Down into my old habits. Into my old addictions. I can't help myself. It comes so easily sometimes. So luckily. I've been craving it for weeks now. A nice simple release. A free-ing. It felt so good. So very, very good. SEB would never understand. She doesn't get it. She wouldn't get it. She's busy with J anyways. Too busy for friends. Well her friends. It doesn't matter. Because everything I needed I got on Friday night. I got lit. I got drunk. I got laughs. I got checked out. I got it. And I fucking enjoyed it. Of course all my old paranoias came back again. But it didn't bother me so much this time. Maybe I'm just so desperate now my instincts aren't kicking in like they used too. I'm beginning to wonder if it even matters. All I know is I had a very good time, give or take somethings. Today I am sitting here attempting to wake up. My eyes feel heavy and lazy today. My head's numb from my previous escapades. It feels a little to familiar this time. This feeling. It feels like I'm home again. It feels good. I'm not sure what to do today. Maybe exercise or go walking or ride my bike or something active. Maybe. That's if I can resist the urge to go back to bed. Sleep is so nice. So very nice. I decided last night I would love to be the person who checks up on patterns. Like see which news station actually gives the most accurate weather predictions. I wouldn't mind doing boring stuff like that. I don't know, but I think I'm done for now. Yes. I am. Done for now.