today. i woke up. stayed up. read bits of the satanic bible. and. went back to bed. for a moment or two. until sarah called. and. i was up and in the shower and cleaning myself. satanism. is. big. out. here. its like the beatles to a beatle fan. its like chocolate to a baby. satan. seems. to. rule. the. west. but what can you really expect from a town whos motto is what happens here stays here. indeed. i feel good right now. not. upset. or. bitter. i feel relaxed and pleased that i got to spend some much deserved time with sarah. her company im enjoying more. since. i let go of all the expectations. and. remembered to be. like ive been. lately. easy. going. and. such. r. e. l. a. x. and. b. r. e. a. t. h. e. because. worry never pays. it only coldly delays. life. and. all of that. my words are lighter today. and a bit restless. i have a need to paint something. astounding. and brilliant. because. i feel it. in my bones lately. the need to get it out in black and red. and. maybe white if it behaves. i think i will now relax and watch 8 heads in a duffel bag. tomorrow i work again. tomorrow ill wake up again. tomorrow ill look for a place to live again. tomorrow ill eat some peanut butter cookies. tomorrow. ill. feel. at. ease.