it never fails. as soon as i decide to take a small break. there it is. here it comes. and right there in my face i find dear ol charlie welcoming me with open open arms. of sorts. of course. the. crush. is. fading. slowly. and. i. miss. it. its time to go back to messing with him. it isnt fun otherwise. i guess it doesnt have to lead to anything as long as its someTHING. a friendship what have you. WHAT have i? i have dreams. and wasted memories. i have friends. and new enemies. i have patience. but no anxiety. nothing is anymore clear to me then when i first started this little online diary. this space where i keep all of my dirty little secrets. and wishes. and dreams. and sorrows. this place only few know about. and even less actually read. nothing is anymore clear. to me. i want things to work. right. or. wrong.